I'm going to start off with a bit of honesty you won't hear from many. It will anger a lot of members of the clergy, some I know personally, but you don't have to go to church. Christ is an example of that because He prayed wherever He was. He prayed on a hill. He prayed in a garden. God heard Him no matter where He was.
Acts 17 Paul in Athens
24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
I spent my entire life attending church. Most of the priests I encountered were as good as they come, but a few reminded me they were also as human as they come. Some were filled with ego but more were filled with light. Just because they enter into ministry, they do not escape being human on this planet trying to do the best they can but as humans, they make a lot of mistakes. They can say the wrong thing. They can give a bad example of what Christ's love is to the point where you leave the church after their sermon feeling worse than you did before you walked in the door. If you feel as if you wasted time sitting in the pew, know you did not waste time reaching out for God. If you left the church because you had someone up at the pulpit you had a problem with, God didn't leave you because of that. The truth is, He never left you. You can always find Him no matter where you are. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to become a Chaplain. I take care of people where they are with whatever they need because that is what Christ did for me. He took a total "screw up" and changed my life just as He had done for others over the last couple of thousand years.
No matter what I've done in my life, I'm forgiven.
When we talk about what is gnawing at our soul it accomplishes a couple of things. First the weight is lifted off our souls. Once the words come out, we no longer feel like a monster because we finally understand a monster wouldn't care or be willing to face whatever reaction may come from the person we confess to. The shame we feel inside is defeated with the words leaving our mouths and our burden is lifted. Then we remember there is nothing we cannot be forgiven for. Christ forgave the hands that nailed Him to the cross. There is nothing He cannot forgive you for doing to someone else. He died to take your burdens on Himself. If you think that He's shocked by anything wrong you did, He saw you when you did it. He knew what was in your heart, what happened before in your life, just as He knows what will come tomorrow if you allow Him to lead the way.
When you are forgiven, know that this day is the new beginning you've heard about, then the healing begins.
You are still just one more human on the planet trying to do the best you can with your life. That's the place you need to start with other than being in the military or a veteran long after the boots came off.
If we believe we are evil, then we feel we are evil. God knows better because He created the soul within you and knew you before you were born. He had plans for you.
Jeremiah 29
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.
If as a member of the military you've forgotten what caused you to be where you were in the first place, God didn't forget. He knew you were willing to die for the sake of others.
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
There was no evil intent within you to begin with. It was based on what God put within you. The thing that called your soul to be able to set everyone else before yourself. The courage to do it, the will to endue whatever price you had to pay for the sake of others. Some did it for country but all did it for their brothers and sisters. Unique individuals joined together for a greater good having to enter into the hell of war, seeing things and doing things less than 10 percent of the population of this nation will ever know. Your intent was good even though you had to walk thru what evil had begun.
You leave there and wonder as the changes within you begin to haunt your thoughts. Have you become evil? Had God abandoned you? How could you not wonder? When you see what humans are capable of doing to others, you wonder how a loving God could allow so much pain, suffering and horrible things to happen. When you were there, you didn't notice God was there in the midst of all of it because you were there. Every moment of compassion you felt, He was there. Every tear you shed, He was there. Every act you did for the sake of someone else, He was there. When you walked through the darkness of war, He was there waiting for you to help you find peace again.
In the memories of darkness, if you look, you will see moments of miracles when His love was there, when what you had to do was just what you had to do and not who you were inside. Your intent was good and He wants you to remember that but as a human the bad things you had to do stand out more in your mind. Let the good within your soul raise above what your mind sees.
There needs to be another term used to describe what you are going through other than Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when it comes after combat. Every human that survives traumatic events is changed. One out of three are drastically changed after one event but you have lived through many. You not only survived those times, you were part of the events themselves. The cuts to your soul are deeper with each bomb that exploded, with each bullet fired and there is a lot to overcome for you. These are not things average humans are supposed to go through but these are things your soul was prepared for. Just as the calling of your soul was to serve, the healing power is also within you. You just need to be able to find it so that you can come out on the other side of this darkness and live in the love of God knowing you are forgiven for what you had to do.
When you think you are evil, then the love you felt becomes trapped behind a wall of pain feeding the pain trapping out the love from others. You begin to think that you don't deserve to be loved by anyone so you push them away at the time you need them in your life the most. If you know God has forgiven you, then you need to forgive yourself for whatever wrong you feel you've done. When Christ told us to forgive others, it was not for their sake, but for our own. When we carry that within us, it eats away at all the good we should be feeling. When we cannot forgive ourselves, it is a burden no one is forced to endure but we do it to ourselves. You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, because He forgave you first and that is where the healing begins.
There are many members of the clergy getting involved in helping you heal because they are finally understanding that this wound you carry attacked you with just as much force as a bullet. It needs to come out of you. It causes you pain. For as long as it remains within you, it reacts like an infection taking over more and more of who you are. With a bullet, you see a doctor to remove it. With this, you need to see people able to help you heal the whole you. Your mind, your body and your soul. The soul is where the pain is so avoiding this part of your healing prevents it from being true healing of your life. As I wrote in the beginning, you don't have to go to church to do this.
You can do it where you are and lay down all the burdens in your soul. You don't have to know the "proper" words to use but just believe He is listening. Don't put it off or feel as if you have to be properly dressed. Do it in whatever you have on.
You can contact a group to help you soul heal.
Point Man Ministries is there to help you find the love God had for you before the day you were born.
There are two videos on the side bar of this blog with a Staff Sgt. talking about this and his own dark days when he put the barrel of a gun into his mouth but was saved to live on and share God's love.
If you are a member of a church, then read the following and make sure the clergy in your own church get involved in helping other veterans heal this wound they carry within them.
While the percentage of suicides and attempted suicides is wrong in this article, the reporter got the rest right. Most of the time they are given the numbers and it is not their fault if they report something wrong. Reading they have 70,000 with PTSD in the Pikes region of Colorado should be a sledgehammer to anyone thinking the war is over when they come home.
Faith community addressing PTSD issues
Posted: Apr 30, 2011 6:00 PM by Matt Stafford
Updated: Apr 30, 2011 8:15 PM
Even with all of the resources of the military, taking care of all of the soldiers coming home with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a big task. Local experts say we have 70,000 active duty or retired military suffering from P.T.S.D. in the Pikes Peak region.
"Talking about the divorce rate among soldiers being at least twice the national average. Everyday five, either active duty or retired, soldiers are trying to commit suicide, so the need is tremendous," says Mike Chapman, who works with the Military Ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ on Fort Carson.
In Colorado Springs, local experts only see problems with P.T.S.D. growing; and the issues extend past the post.
"The fact that 70 percent of soldiers and families who attend church, or other faith groups, do so off-post means it is a community issue," says Chapman.
Local faith leaders are taking charge; 20 to 30 churches and others spent all day talking about ways to help at Woodmen Valley Chapel.
"I served for 20 years, and now I find myself in a church setting where our church is very interested in reaching out to the same military community that we're part of in Colorado Springs." says Jeff Kozyra, a conference attendee who works for New Life Church.
Hernando Pena has a clear view of what they're up against; after two deployments from Fort Carson, his stress came out in the form of anger and alcohol use.
"This has been a three year stinch that we're talking about as far as suffering through Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," says Pena, a veteran of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. "It almost broke us apart."
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Faith community addressing PTSD issues
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