Growing up in a Greek/Scottish household, we were always surrounded by family. There were five members of my immediate family, aunts, uncles and cousins all gathered around for holidays. Thanksgiving was always huge for my family. It was a wonderful day with cherished memories no matter how the rest of the year was going. Nothing else mattered that day except to spend time together with the people that mattered the most.
Four years ago when I moved to Florida, there were two less members of my family. My father passed away in 1987. Ten years ago, one of my brothers passed away at the age of 42. Uncles and aunts were gone as well as another cousin, also passed away at a young age. My husband's family had all passed away in thirteen months between 1993 and 1994. The first Thanksgiving here in Florida was hard, but friends of ours came from back home. They have a winter place in St. Petersburg. Having them here made it better for us. They repeated it the following year. Last year, it was hard because it was just the three of us. It was very lonely and my mother had passed away that February. This year will be especially hard because my brother Nick passed away last month, less than a week after he was laid off from his job. I've been out of work since January when I was let go because my job as Administrator of Christian Education was eliminated. It's been a rough year financially especially considering it seems to be costing me more and more to be a Chaplain. Between training, membership and traveling, it's been more out of my pocket than in. But there has been a trade off that you cannot put a price tag on.
When my mother was getting on in years, she tended to focus on what was wrong instead of what was right. I used to remind her that she needs to see what is good instead of only looking at what is bad in her life. It helps me get through really hard times and a very, very stressful time covering trauma on this blog. I read so many horrible stories about suffering, accidents, families falling apart, people dying and especially the people suffering from trauma that it could very well send me into a deep dark depression of my own. While I tend to think that I've just gotten to the point when I can tolerate it all better, the truth is, it never really does get easier.
A strange thing happened this year above all the other years. My faith in human kindness is fully restored because of some of the wonderful stories I've read this year. People making a difference for others by sharing their own pain. People deciding that since they know how it feels, they want to make sure others find some comfort at the very least. People who decide to rise above their own pain to do whatever they can to help total strangers. I've met them as Chaplains, as outreach workers and as average people, all trying to make things better and asking nothing in return, expecting nothing more than the feeling they get when they help someone else.
I remember being infuriated that a post I did on a Marine on YouTube tossing a puppy off a cliff managed to get more hits than a story of a veteran committing suicide because he had PTSD. That made me think that the importance some people place on the shocking mattered more than sorrowful. That all changed with an 11 year old boy named Brenden Foster.
Brenden was dying when he made a wish the beginning of November. He could have asked for anything he wanted for himself. After all, who would turn down the dying wish of a child? While Brenden could have asked for anything as leukemia was taking days of his life away, Brenden saw some homeless people and made the wish that would change the world. He wanted to feed the homeless people.
I tracked the story of this earthly angel and felt blessed just to be able to share his story. The miracle came when the comments started to roll in. One by one, people were talking about how this child changed their minds and warmed their hearts. Today by 4:00 this post has pushed my daily hit count over 1,200. That's how important this child's story is. It has gained more comments than anything else I've posted since this blog began last year.
When we have troubles in our own lives, it's very easy to close our eyes to the needs of someone else. (I'm guilty of that as well. There are days when I don't even want to turn on the PC. ) This year, with all I have to think about that has not been very good, Brenden's example will cause me to do the blessing this year with a restored faith in God's bounty. There is so much for me to be grateful for. While our house needs a new roof we cannot afford to replace, we still have one when so many have lost their's. While my extended family is a lot smaller, the survivors are very close emotionally. While I don't have a paycheck anymore, I have a rewarding calling that is filling more than the big paychecks I used to get back in Massachusetts. While I could look at what I can no longer buy, I am looking at what money cannot buy and that is love. Love, prayers, compassion from total strangers coming into my life to help me, offering support and friendship. What I also have to be very grateful for this year is how many other people across the nation who have taken on helping our veterans with PTSD. This is a miracle as well. I've never had so much hope in my life that things will get better for them and their families.
If you have had a bad year, open your heart and then your eyes and you will find what you are truly blessed with. It's not that hard to do. You will find what really matters in your life instead of what you want out of life. Brenden did that and if an 11 year old child can do that facing death, so can you. Brenden first came into the media spotlight three weeks before he passed away and no one will ever be the same again.
Senior Chaplain Kathie "Costos" DiCesare
International Fellowship of Chaplains
Namguardianangel@aol.com www.Namguardianangel.comwww.Woundedtimes.blogspot.comwww.youtube.com/NamGuardianAngel"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation." - George Washington
